Divorce's Silver Lining for Daughters?

New research suggests that "bad divorces" are more beneficial for daughters than "quiet divorces." Professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin, Norval Glenn, and director at the Institute for American Marriage and Families, Elizabeth Marquardt, said that "successful" young adults who have undergone "quiet divorces" still carry internal scars with them. Bad divorces are considered to be preferable to good ones in some areas.
Of their research, the most interesting discovery was that daughters of "bad divorces" were more likely to have a lasting, fulfilling marriage when compared to daughters of "good divorces."
This could be because of the opposite effect which is when a child can see their parents' mistakes and avoid them in their lifetime.
"Good divorces" says psychologist Michael Bradley, "confuses kids." It's more common for children to grasp the idea of a conflicted marriage that leads to divorce.
I think this is a really interesting article and I agree that "good divorces" can possibly confuse children because it's uncommon, but it's only seen in this way because that's the way it's projected into society. "Good divorces" should be embraced because both parties can accept their differences and move on from them in a mature way.

Divorce and Children: "Facts"

"The divorce of parents, even if it is amicable, tears apart the fundamental unit of American society," is the opening statement of the video embedded above. This video contains many controversial "facts" that once again portray children of divorced parents negatively. All of these "facts" are debatable and many children who have experienced their parents' divorce disagree with the video. One person commented, "This is horrible I am a child of divorce and I have none of these problems."

This first statement really caught my attention, though. All of these statistics of children of divorce are based of what American society has decided its core values to be. Family is a longstanding tradition in the United States so divorce is still somewhat seen as a taboo. Public opinion of society fundamentally forms our own opinions and outlooks. Maybe if divorce is seen as less of a taboo, these negative stereotypes of children of divorce can be changed.

Pets and Coping

The Power of Pets is an article relaying the profound emotional effects of animals on children who have divorced parents. Besides teaching children responsibility, animals give children a sense of empathy, purpose, and belonging. Chris, a child who had a golden retriever when his parents divorced, remembered feeling needed by a non-judgmental and loving animal; he also relieved his personal stress by going on runs with his dog. Being a "pet parent" is a great way for children to cope with their sadness, yet experts also warn against rushing to the pet store after a personal grief occurs because it could add more stress to a situation or become too involved with the animal emotionally that it could consume you.

I believe that after waiting and grieving, an animal could be an excellent option for recovery. Once mourning over an emotionally significant event in your is finally over, the next step is recovering from said event. Do you think that committing to an animal is a good way for children to deal with their stresses and satisfy their emotional needs? Or is committing to an animal too big of a responsibility for a child to undergo?

Divorce's Affect on Children: Grown Up

Sociologist Constance Ahrons conducted a study that entailed her interviewing 98 pairs of parents who had been legally divorced for the time period of one year. She later re-interviewed the parents and 173 adult children from 89 of the original pairings.

From these 173 adults, 79% of them saw positive outcomes from the divorce. This is huge! Usually we only hear about the negative side effects on children but that's at such a young age where they can't fathom what's going on. Is daddy leaving forever? When these children grow up they look back on their upbringing and come to realize that what happened is for the best. Of course divorce isn't easy and can have lasting effects on some, but it doesn't necessarily mean that a family is destroyed. Divorce did not cause any family problems, life before it did. Incompatible relationships, not children form the foundation of divorce. When interviewing a 3, 9, or 12 year old about their parent's divorce they're most likely going to repeat what their parents tell them or what that they don't understand what's happening. When interviewing the same a decade or so later, they'll realize that their parents weren't as happy as they could've been and that in the end, divorce probably made the family closer.